Don MillerThe rains stopped finally and I decided to go out for a stroll. I saw an tiny Irish Pub over in the tourist section of town so I thought I would try and find it again. If I didn’t, at least I would get some exercise in. I was minding my business as I usually do when I am take my stroll, when I guy walks up next to me.
Starts chatting. Gave me his whole life story in about 50 steps. He said he was from Cyprus, in town to buy leather for his business. A short, paunchy, balding guy that said he was off the proverbial leash for the weekend and wanted to go out. The front desk guy at his hotel recommended a place and he was off to it now. Did I want to join him.? I am not really a club guy and really just wanted to sit in the pub and people watch for a bit. But I decided to try something new.
We walked up to a bright neon lit building just off the tourist boulevard. Looked like a scene from the 80’s TV show “Miami Vice”. Dripping in Cheesiness. I knew immediately that this was not going to be my thing. But I said I would go. One beer and I am out.
There was some music playing to an empty room. A stage was on the other side of dance floor. Also empty. There were plenty of women sitting around with their clothes on chatting, Probably chatting about how tight and drafty their dresses were. Weirdest strip club I have ever been in. The waiter rolls up take our order, I ordered a beer and my new friend ordered a meat and cheese plate and a drink. I was going to pound the beer and head out when 2 really pretty ladies came over and sat down. My friend was all excited. I was thinking, “Ah Shit, Here it comes”. By “It”, I mean the waiter coming up and asking for their drink order. I pounded my beer to get out, they pounded their drinks to stick around and get 2 more. Then the conversation started. When I heard the Eastern European accents, I really knew I was in trouble. I am sure they were very nice but I can’t afford a night of drinking in a strip club with Russian women. I finished my beer and said I was out. The Bill came, $120 for 10 minutes. The beefy bouncer walked me to the ATM to get the cash and I was pissed. I verbally abused him the whole way. He looked like he was going to cry which made the whole episode kind of worth it.
I have to give it to the Turks, They can open a strip club without any strippers and get stupid westerners to come in and spend what ended up being $12 a minute to sit there. The entire rest of the world sends hot women out into the streets to snag unsuspecting tourists. The turks sent out a fat jewish guy.
I did finally find the irish pub and sat there and drank an angry pint at a much more reasonable rate of about 12 cents a minute.
